Once upon a drunken eve
When I met a guy named Steve
Though my lips would play a sieve
Never once did I decieve.
A drunken kiss shared in the night
A drunken fool in a bar fight
Though not involved, I showed my might
I'm still not sure if that was right
Steve took me home to do his thing
He showed me to his favorite swing
I pondered showing him my favorite ring
But instead I broke his vase or Ming
So much for sex, I just don't care
For men like him have too much hair
It would be like fucking a bear
I wonder if he's ever heard of Nair
But truth be told, I like not dick
It's good for nothing, that little prick
The thought of it just makes me sick
Oh wait, I'm gay, bring me a chick!
This age, just past the dawn of the new millenium will some day be known as the age of prisons. With this revelation, there comes a question. Where do all the prison guards come from? Think about it, most kids want to grow up to be doctors, lawyers, fire fighters, police officers... Hell, some even want to be Cowboys or Indians, even in the modern day.In fact, I even know people who wanted to be (some who still want to be) pirates, or even bank robbers. Even the bad guys look good once in a while in the movies. Think about it for a moment. How many prison guard heroes have you seen in the movies? The ones I've seen were dim-witted or sadistic, or even both, and they certainly didn't exhibit any desirable qualities. Wanting to be a prison guard would be like wanting to be Igor instead of Dr. Frankenstein. Let's face facts for a moment.If you had a child, a friend, or a sibling whom said "I want to be a prison guard when I grow up," you'd know you, your parents, or thiers had failed somewhere along the line. What kind of inspiration is that? Since no child ever grows up wanting to be a prison guard, we must ask ourselves, where do they come from? Are they the dregs of society? Unwanted and washed out from even the most menial jobs, perhaps the age of prisons has a good reason. To provide employment to these square pegs who otherwise have nothing to contribute to society. If this is the case, I am one who suggest that maybe criminals and misfits could do a better job of taking care of themselves. But then again, I suppose an arguement could be made for either side.
(anonymous, to save the original poster)
Prison guards also include but are not limited to: Jailor, Jail Staff, Sheriff, Deputy, Detention Officer, Offender Modification Counselor, and any of the other names they deem appropriate in calling themselves. However decieving the name may be, they are still guards.
As an aside, I spent the last 2 months in a County jail dealing with these fucktards in thier natural environment thanks to an idiot friend who had a half ounce of weed in my car while I was driving, and an idiot lawyer who didn't know how to argue a case. I can also blame the judge, who despite my clean record, felt it necesary to make an example out of me. It wasn't as bad in jail as one might think, but definately not a place I'd like to stay long. However, despite the hell that is jail, the unclean environment, the edgy "roommates" and other such conditions, I believe everyone should experience at least a week or 2 of it.
And one final note, half the guards in the County Jail I stayed at were ex-felons. Kinda funny, that we trust ex-felons to keep "criminals" in line in a so-called correctional institution.
I found this amusing when I first saw it, thought I'd share
Ok, well let me preface this by saying that I work part-time at a local Planned Parenthood. We perform abortions regularly, and we attract small groups of protesters all the time. Well, about a week ago we were graced by the oh so wonderful presence of a young woman, no older then 17, who we see up here regularly protesting that we're all baby-killers. Apparently, lil miss Catholic "Oh-my-god, you're all going to hell for killing babies" had a rather enjoyable night at her senior prom, and found out she is in need of our services.
I personally hate dealing with these hypocrites, because every word out of thier mouth is a demand, or an insult. Being the semi-professional I am, I process her paperwork, and set an appointment for her. Then she starts on the demands for her next visit. First, she wants a private waiting room, so she doesn't have to "sit with the sluts who want to kill babies". Then, she demands that we come pick her up and cart her in through the back, so no one she knows sees her coming in for an abortion. I was careful in my words, and informed her we couldn't accomadate such requests, she seemed dejected, and left quietly.
Well this morning was the morning of her appointment, and let me tell you, what a bitch fest. I could hear her screaming at the doctor from the lobby, and so could the other patients, many of whom couldn't keep from laughing. I think however the greatest moment came when I heard this scream. "Hurry up you fucking baby killer, hurry the fuck up so you can burn in hell." followed by the doctor coming into the lobby with her following, telling her he refused to treat her.
The look on her face was priceless as she dropped to her knees crying, and begging the doctor help her. Now, the doc is usually a pretty easy going man, but I could see he was straining not to abort her, and not her fetus, right there in the lobby. We eventually turned her away completely, because the doctor gave her a second chance to calm down and let him do his job. As she left the clinic, she was crying about how her hardcore Catholic parents were now gonna disown her, and I couldn't help but smile at such poetic justice. Still, that's the first time I've ever seen anyone thrown out of our clinic.